


cold

by lavenderlotion



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Charles Xavier Needs a Hug, Child Abuse, Love, M/M, Mutant Husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-22 14:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22217575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: Cold was love in so, so very many ways.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	cold

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: _Cold_

Charles had never been particularly good with the cold.

It reminded him of things he'd much rather forget. It was the distance of his mother after his father had passed away, the cold, dreary nights spent all alone in a house far too big for two people. It was the icy loss of losing two parents at the same time, and how cold his mother was towards him. 

The cold reminded him of all the nights when Cain locked him out of the house in nothing but his pyjamas, shivering violently on the front step as he waited for morning to come when his mother would let him back inside, silent and weighed down with drink. It was the cold, sharp bite of pain that a leather belt caused and the freezing sting of the showers his step-father would force him into to wash away the blood.

It was the way Kurt felt for his mother, his cold heart colder thoughts. It was the way he was using her for her money, and the way he despised Charles. The cold was the horrible expanse of his mother's empty mind. It was her funeral, the snow that had dusted the earth on the day he finally said goodbye to her and vowed to leave his bitterness and his resentment buried six feet under.

Cold was so many things and so many memories that Charles wished he could forget. It was over a decade worth of memories that he would pluck from his mind if only he could. Countless instances he'd rather never think of again, if only he could reach into his own memory centre and lock them away. 

But the cold wasn't all bad.

It was only something he had learned over the last few decades, but the cold could be good. It wasn't only painful memories that plagued his nights. Cold was also the future and the coming months. Cold was another whole year passed with his loved ones, the holiday's spent with his family surrounding him, the New Year brought in with a soft kiss to Erik's ever-cool lips.

So much of the cold over the past years had been Erik. It was his fingers, always chilled, feeling much like the metal he controlled as they touched him. It was his mutation, reaching, feeling,  _ knowing _ the cool metal around him. It were his memories, cooled from the burning rage they had once been and tapered after so many years of being in a happier place. Cold was the band he wore around his finger, a promise, a guarantee, a vow.

It was so, so many good things, like the wooden floors of the mansion during the winter semester, a once-empty building trapped with horrible memories and now filled with countless children who were finally safe. It was snowball fights that the young, talented Bobby always won—unless he was going against John, and then it was the epic snow battles Bobby let himself lose. It was the children skating on the rink Bobby made each year and Charles following after them with cool metal blades fastened to the bottom of his wheelchair thanks to Erik's power, their flushed cheeks and red noses.

Cold was love in so, so very many ways, and on the days that cold looked like darkness, when it felt of despair and sorrow, Charles would remind himself of all the things cold really was, of the lovely, wonderful things that It could be.

And he found that cold could be love. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)!  
> comments and kudos are much appreciated!


End file.
